Presidential ticker

As the final lap of the presidential race gets over , one can’t help get over the withdrawal symptoms of what has been the end of another soap like saga on television. For some time now, we have been witnessing all the twists & turns , hopes & frustrations and of course lot of media innuendos & political gibbeckry on this seminal event . No other reality show comes even close. Strip all the paraphernalia surrounding this event to its bare essentials and what you get to witness is two contenders for what Dan Brown would call ‘a position of Power’. I am talking of a position of power that has been endlessly glorified & mystified in countless Hollywood flicks and novels adding to the aura surrounding the post. So essentially what would be the 5 things about this job that the 2 contenders Barack or McCain be after? Here’s my list

1. Party conclaves & Campaign : The run up show is no less grandeur than the one culminating in the taking of Oath & secrecy. No other reality show can even stand up to this, one massive PR exercise choreographed masterfully to the last frame. The confetti’s, the audience with picture perfect placards, the light & razzmatazz and of course the carefully rehearsed dialogues & punch lines of the candidates can even put Terminator dialogues to shade. A whole battery of Poll wizards, spin doctors & Communication and presentation specialists and Campaign strategists make up this jamboree.

2. 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue : This boxlike stone structure with hipped roof, balustrade and columnar entrance designed by architect James Hoban maybe the smallest presidential mansion in the world but has unrivaled power & prestige .Nicknamed the Loo, Dick’s den, the Clinton bedroom etc , the most dominating aspect of the Oval office is said to be the colorful American eagle emblazoned on the room’s oval carpet. The eagles left talon clutches an olive branch and his right a bundle of arrows. It is said that during times of peace, the eagle faced left –towards olive branch but in times of war it faced right –towards the arrows.

3. Presidential retreat : Established as "Shangri-La" by President Franklin Roosevelt, it was subsequently renamed Camp David by Dwight Eisenhower. Serves the President, providing the First Family and their guests with solitude and tranquility and uniquely private place to work or relax. It is said that George Bush has officially spent 365 days — a full year — at Camp David in his tenure. You can actually go on hunting trips in its vast woods & accidentally shoot a friend like Dick Cheney did.

4. The Nuclear briefcase/Nuclear command: The black briefcase with the codes to engage & activate USA's arsenal of Land & Sea based nuclear weapons is one hell of a gadget that the president carries everywhere and everybody is wary of . It’s the ultimate silver bullet that the president can bite & bomb the earth to its Cretaceous era. The Russians have an equivalent one, code-named Cheget just to keep the president in check and play a game of cat & mouse if it comes to it.

5. Airforce One : This machine is the commander-in-chief’s portable home court in which he often flies to other countries in peace times while in war times is safely tucked away a couple of thousand feet away in sky. Mockingly called the ‘the flying phallus’ for its 6-foot-high letters trumpeting UNITED STATES OF AMERICA on its fuselage intimidating & mimicking the power influence and muscle inside, it has over 4000 Sq ft of interior floor space, including 4 separate sleeping quarters, berths for 26 member flight crew & 2 galleys capable of providing food for 50 people.