The Chutiya-in-Chief: A Neologistic Guide to Trump

American politics has never lacked for colorful language. Nixon gave us “Tricky Dick,” Bush Jr. left us with “misunderestimate,” and Biden has cornered the market on heartfelt gaffes. But no president has inspired the English language - or, more accurately, mangled it - quite like Donald J. Trump.

Recently, political scientist Christine Fair reached for a term not in the Oxford English Dictionary but one that resonates across India: “Chutiya.”

Now, for the uninitiated, chutiya is a colloquial Hindi insult that literally references a female private part. But don’t be fooled - it’s far richer than simple vulgarity. In daily Indian usage, it’s the universal solvent for stupidity. A word deployed when:

• Someone at work goofs up in epic fashion,
• You’ve been taken in by a scam that even your grandma saw coming, or
• A person’s sheer stupidity is so luminous it could power a small village

In short, it doesn’t just mean “dumb as fu*k.” It means a certified, world-class idiot - a title Trump has worn with pride more often than one of his red MAGA caps.

Shashi Tharoor once called Trump a man who “lacks gravitas.” Classy. Erudite. But even Tharoor, with his Oxford education and SAT-word arsenal, would struggle to coin a term sharper, more visceral, or frankly, more accurate than ch*tiya.

And once you unlock that linguistic door, the neologisms come pouring in like cheap Trump steaks after a liquidation sale. Allow me to present a new lexicon for the Chutiya-in-Chief:

Vaginasmus (n.)

 

A political contraction so painful and involuntary that the entire system seizes up. Best demonstrated when Trump tries to explain healthcare in “two easy pages.” The nation winces in sympathy, but no relief arrives.

Clittoramus (n.)

A species of politician who claims to be sensitive to the people but can never quite find the right spot

Cuntesar (n.)

A self-styled emperor who rules with bluster, tantrums, and an alarming commitment to naked ego. Zero clothes - figuratively, though God help us if it’s literal.

Now, these three gems owe their inspiration to the cultural weight of ch*tiya. But why stop there? Trump’s own legacy has gifted us a buffet of fresh absurdities.

MAGA’dify (v.)

To piss off allies and friends with tariff tantrums and verbal volleys, leaving diplomats scrambling for cover. Example: “The G7 summit was going fine until he decided to Maga’dify it into a WWE brawl.”

TAFO (n.)

The Trump-administration cousin of “FAFO” (F**K  Around and Find Out*): policies launched with thunderous bravado, only to be quietly reversed after predictable fallout. “That immigration order? Classic TAFO -signed Monday, reversed Friday, forgotten by Sunday.”

DOGE (v.)

To promise impossible solutions with absolute confidence, then vanish into the shadows when reality intervenes. “He claimed he’d solve the Ukraine war in three days. Eleven months later, he’s still DOGE-ing reporters who ask about it.”

TRUM'pet (n.)

A loud, erratic blast of hot air, usually involving a grandiose, unsubstantiated claim. “He Trumpeted that his personal ‘magic touch’ stopped the India–Pak conflict. Reality check: the conflict had ended when the DGMO of  Pakistan spoke to his Indian counterpart.”

 

OBBBA (n.)

The latest “hit” from the ABBA tribute band in Trump’s head - a rally soundtrack of mental contortions so catchy it loops endlessly. Side effects: misplaced nostalgia, spontaneous conspiracy theories, and cognitive disco.

The Final Chorus

Trump has been labeled many things across continents, but few words capture his essence quite like India’s gift to the world: ch*tiya. From Maga’difying global diplomacy, to TAFO-ing domestic policy, DOGE-ing responsibility, Trumpeting imaginary victories, and grooving to the OBBBA soundtrack in his mind, he is a one-man neologism factory.

America gave us the Apprentice. India gave us the vocabulary. Together, they’ve defined the age of the Chutiya-in-Chief.