About the Blog

This is my diary....what I make sense of, around me. You'll find short prose on contemporary topics that interest me. What can you expect - Best adjectives? …. hmm occasionally, tossed around flowery verbs ?…. Nope, haiku-like super-brevity? … I try to. Thanks for dropping by & hope to see you again

May 22, 2009

Witty IM’s - 1

Clyde’isms is something that I have become familiar of late. If you are wondering what I am talking about , its simply this; a friend & excolleague (Clyde Alweyn) has found a innovative way to enliven Gmail. He puts a witty oneliner in his IM status everyday which in some way could be termed as a spoof of the daily dose of ‘Quotable Quotes’ or ‘thought for the day’ that one get to find nowadays. One such is on to the right of your screen. A number of times I have made an attempt to find original & innovative answers to his witty one liners and a collection of it is published in this article. I thought it would be interesting to share with my blog readers & elicit their response too. So here’s the list (part 1)

If one synchronized swimmer drowns, do the rest have to drown too?
No. Not until the synchronization is in the drowning too.
• A conscience is what hurts when all your other parts feel so good.
That feel good can be explained by science while feel hurt cant, so its 'con'science
• Is reading in the bathroom considered multi-tasking?
Multi skilling would be an apt word
• Why is abbreviation such a long word?
Because it is going the distance so that others fall short
• When everything is coming your way, you're in the wrong lane and going the wrong way.
Why? You could be just standing there & guiding all of it.
• What's the speed of dark?
1- Speed of light (on absolute scale of 0 to 1). Light is chasing darkness isn’t it?
• What happens if you get scared half to death twice?
You are dead twice as over
• We were born naked, wet and hungry. Then things got worse.
Things always go from bad to worse.
The quickest way to double your money is to fold it in half and put it back in your pocket.
Is it simple interest or confounded interest
Breaking News: The Bermuda Triangle got tired of warm weather. It moved to Finland.
Has anything gone missing there
Santa Claus is missing.
When was he found?
• Mix up: Suicidal twin kills sister by mistake!
Tragic beginning & end
• Some days you are the bug, some days you are the windshield.
Role’ing over
• Laughing stock: cattle with a sense of humor.
Or cattle listening to swine flu jokes. Poor things dint realize what hit them.
• When you tell the truth you don't have to remember anything.
Truth should not be taxing to the mind
• How do you tell when you run out of invisible ink?
When the pen nib starts squeaking
• For Sale: Parachute. Only used once, never opened, small stain.
More apt would be : Virgin Parachute on sale, owner missing
• Error, no keyboard. Press F1 to continue.
Is it the F with finger up or down
• Consciousness: That annoying time between naps.
Something god created to call ‘Entertainment Programme break’
• Two rules to success in life: 1. Don't tell people everything you know.
Whats the second? Anyway the second one becomes irrelevant after the first
• Atheism - A non-prophet organization.
And what do they practise? – Scepticism?
• The life of every man is a diary in which he means to write one story, and writes another.
Programme scripting error
• To be natural is such a very difficult pose to keep up.
Because natural is so unusual
• Would there be this eternal seeking if the found existed?
Circular reference error. Its a bit like the dog trying to scratch its tail, the itch is there but you cant reach it.
Post a Comment

Feedburner Count